Perfect Job Interview

"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos) 09/08/2014 at 00:38 • Filed to: None

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Oppo, do you need motivation for your resume and or job interview? Well don't take notes from the these two.

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Mail Room Gig …:

Svend > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 09/08/2014 at 01:08

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If you get bored at all today. Read this C.V. from a guy in 2012. The name in the C.V. isn't real but the rest of the C.V. is. Hilarious and honest.

Some exerts.

" As a man of integrity I'm not about to try and give you the impression that all the jobs I've had previously were brilliant learning experiences tailor-made to equip me for precisely the job I'm applying for (hello you) when in reality they have been, for the greater part, boring and drudgerous and disheartening."

" Work History

Cleaner/Caretaker; The Women's Organisation, Manchester ; 11/08/2010 – Present

Duties include: Working out how dirty I can let the building get without Lisa complaining and then cleaning to this exact standard."

" Copywriter ; Tailormydesign.co.uk, the internet ; July 2010

Duties included: Writing about fabrics and tailoring like they were something I thought were exciting and meaningful. Researching the exact tone of condescension invariably used in the Q&A sections of trendy fashion websites and overcoming an astonishing sense of dread in order to copy seven shades of shit out of exactly this tone."

http://curriculumvitiate.wordpress.com/the-cv/

Minardi Gras > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 09/08/2014 at 01:13

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TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 09/08/2014 at 01:21

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Apparently, the best kind of job interview only lasts 12 seconds. In that space of time, the employer would've already made up their mind about you as a person and future employee.

Or that's just a perfect length of time for a quick blowjob.

Montalvo > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 09/08/2014 at 01:30

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Step 1: Interview as a team

Step 2: Turn the tables on the interviewer

Step 3: Be honest about your weaknesses

Step 4: Be classy as %&@#!